March 5, 2024 01:10:56

Why We Often Persist in Relationships Even When Uncertain

In relationships, there are numerous reasons why we might choose to remain, even when uncertainty creeps in. From a discomfort with change to a scarcity mindset, here are some common factors that keep us tethered to relationships we’re not entirely sure about.

Not all relationships are characterized by happiness and health. Creating an environment of growth, communication, and trust in a relationship requires substantial effort and mutual understanding. Yet, there are times when doubts about a relationship surface. Various factors can contribute to this uncertainty, but in many instances, we opt to stay despite our doubts. Relationship Coach Rebecca Ore wisely observes, “Are you grappling with the decision of staying or leaving? There’s no straightforward checklist or definitive expert answer to guide you in this decision-making process. While this may sound daunting, it’s profoundly liberating. There’s no absolute right or wrong choice, and you have the freedom to embrace any decision you make and believe it’s the best one for you.”

Resisting Negative Emotions: Heartbreaks and breakups inevitably usher in a whirlwind of challenging emotions. Often, we find ourselves unprepared mentally to navigate this emotional storm, which is why we continue in a relationship even when our hearts and minds tell us otherwise.

Fear of Change Discomfort: Any form of change can introduce an element of discomfort. Thus, we often opt to remain in relationships we’re uncertain about, as the unknown nature of change can be daunting, and we seek comfort in the familiar, even if it no longer serves us.

Scarcity Mindset: Sometimes, we hold negative beliefs about our own worth and our prospects of finding another person with whom we can deeply connect. We may fear that we won’t find love or care elsewhere, leading us to stay in a less-than-fulfilling relationship because it seems like the best option available.

Avoiding Guilt or Shame: The act of leaving a partner or subjecting them to the pain of a breakup can trigger strong feelings of guilt and shame within us. To sidestep these uncomfortable emotions, we may choose to remain in a relationship, even when our own happiness and well-being are compromised.